If this post was accurately titled, it would probably be called “Ugly Shoe Trends You Shouldn’t Waste Your Money On”. I do like some of these shoes, don’t get me wrong–the kitten flats are adorable and the strappy sandals are ridiculously high but manage to look good on most feet, but as for the majority, I hate them, they look awful, and I would never be caught dead wearing them or any replicas.

I’ve never really been a fan of shoe trends. It’s like designers are trying to trump each other on the weirdness scale, and I don’t do “weird” with my outfits–I’m no Lady Gaga. But these shoe trends are so prevalent throughout the blogosphere nowadays that they’re a hard thing to ignore. So here’s a list of the shoes I see cropping up often enough nowadays on blogs that I follow, and where you can get them for cheap if you’re so inclined.

Jeffrey Campbell’s Lita, $160 | AliExpress, $28 (Just search the site for different styles like denim, lace or American flag.. they’re out there)
The Lita. What can I say about the Lita? Way too much, but let’s keep this brief; If I wasn’t so adverse to platform shoes in the first place, I would still think they were hideous. But they’re everywhere, with evil spawns now coming out in bastard styles such as denim or “wookie”. I understand pastels, I understand neons, I understand peplums, I understand a hell of a lot of trends out there, but I don’t understand the Lita.

Chloé Susan Studded Ankle Boots, $1345 | eBay, $65
Ladies, if you didn’t already have huge feet to begin with, never fear. Helpfully, Chloe made us these boots to give people with small feet the illusion of big feet and people with big feet the illusion of a size that can only be described as clown-like. I seldom ever see any blogger or celebrity pull these off, and I’m even more shocked by the claims that they can be “worn with anything”, because their detailed, blingy, modern-cowboy style clashes with every outfit I’ve seen featuring them.

Vivienne Westwood Lady Dragon Pumps, $252 | AliExpress, $26 (In many different colours and styles.. AliExpress has so many jelly shoes; it’s kind of insane)
I don’t know what the appeal is with jelly shoes this season. Could it be the superior quality of the materials (lol)? Or maybe you didn’t get enough of the 90’s and you’re looking to relive your childhood? Do you like your shoes being ideal fungal breeding grounds, or perhaps you like the feeling of sweaty feet on a hot summer’s day?

Christian Louboutin Bis Un Bout, $795 (sold out) | AliExpress, $19 (Also in pink and black)
Somewhere deep within the history of the United Stripper Union, a consensus was once reached that clear shoes were henceforth going to be the stripper trademark. Apparently CL didn’t get the memo. The aforementioned rant about jelly/PVC shoes set aside, I have been personally battling toe cleavage for many years, and what does CL do? They come out with a shoe that guarantees it.

Isabel Marant Bekket High-Top Sneakers, $725 | AliExpress, $35 (Many different colours) | Target, $50
Don’t know what’s more appealing here, the velcro closures or the camel-coloured rubber sole. They look clumsy and chunky and kind of remind me of those Sketchers Shape Ups or any other platform sneakers the overweight buy in their plight to lose a few pounds. If you wanted to go for comfortable shoes, buy a pair of Crocs–they don’t look any more respectable than these babies do.

Zara Strappy Sandals, $46 (sold out) | AliExpress, $21 (black, orange and pink available) | Target, $32
These heels are the most bearable of the bunch. What I like about them is that they’re a relatively plain, classic style with the potential to go with most things. These are shoes that say “I’m simple and it’s okay”.

Giuseppe Zanotti I26115 Sculpted Ankle Strap Wedges, $775 | eBay, $45
Would you like some horse shoes for your hooves? Enough said.

Charlotte Olympia Kitty Cat-Embroidered Suede Slippers, $595 | eBay, $27
These babies are pretty adorable, I have to say. Just wish I could wear flats!

What do you think about these blogger-favorite shoe trends? Do you love or hate them? I won’t judge you, I promise. ;)

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6 Comments

  1. I agree with you that current shoe trends leave a bit to be desired. I do think there is something in paying a little more for shoes though, if they are going to be a wardrobe staple. My feet are sensitive little things and don’t cope well being wrapped up in synthetic materials all day. That said, $1300 for a pair of boots is beyond ridiculous, especially when they look like they are going to be dated last week!

    • Demi

      I love your gmail address! So lovely. I am starting to pay a little more for shoes (if you follow me on Instagram, you’ll see that I’ve splurged quite a bit as of late), and definitely keep a look out for quality brands having sales and so on, like Nine West and Jo Mercer, etc. I usually go by the rule–if it’s synthetic, it better be dirt cheap (I’m talking $15 and under), but otherwise, go for the leather, baby! I do have to say that spending $1300 for a pair of shoes is absolutely absurd–that’s totally going beyond “paying for quality”. The people who splurge on those shoes do it for a few reasons: Brand recognition, because someone famous bought them, and/or because they want to show off. But this is coming from someone who pushes with all her might against the power of brand names, so I’m somewhat biased. :P

  2. Your descriptions made me giggle! I’m currently guilty of the following blogger enabled purchases, the Chloe boots of which I bought the Zara knockoffs, and the VW jelly shoes, which I managed to get rid off because sweat and rubber do not mix. Now I’m thinking about the IM wedge sneakers … anything to make me look taller than I really am. I once had a pair of Sketcher platforms in the Spice Girls era and I sure do regret looking so silly, so I expect to come full circle with the wedge sneakers too.

    I’ve also been contemplating the CO kitty flats for a while but can’t bring myself to spend that amount on shoes, so the ebay ones will do for now.

    Yep, I’ve got sucker written all over me.

    • Demi

      Haha oh no! It’s okay, I’m a sucker for trends too. I find myself sometimes buying things just because the style is in season and then I don’t wear them until they go out of season (or sometimes never at all!). I’ve really gotta stop doing that.. When purchasing things, I try and use the mantra “Will 80 year old me laugh my ass off at this outfit when looking back at these pictures?”. I’m hoping my 80 year old me is a kind woman because I’ve worn some pretty outlandish things in the name of trendseeking!

  3. I’m liking the classic strappy heels, previously I wouldn’t have thought about bringing them out for daytime but with their popularity now, I’ve been able to find heaps of inspiration for potential outfits, though I can’t live with the pain of their height for long! I have to say I’m also partial to the Melissa Apple wedges, even though they are jelly and no doubt will cause much suffering – that’s a kind-of recent lemming though. Every other style, nope, nada! I am particularly loathing the sculpted wedges, how the hell can anyone walk in them?!?!? It’s terrible, that style and the clear heels trend have begun to filter into the chainstores *shiver*.

    Btw, I like your commentary!

    • Demi

      Thanks for commenting, Joan! :)

      The strappy heels are way too high for me too, which is why I prefer the AE version–the heel looks much more manageable. I think the VW jelly heels in this post look pretty cute as do the Melissa Apple wedges, but in addition to the comfort stuff, I’m too scared I won’t be able to pull them off and I’ll end up looking tacky instead!

      I once tried on a similar Zu version of the sculpted wedges in store once and forgetting that they had no heel, toppled right back because I’m used to carrying the weight in my heels. Some fashionista I am!

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